Most people have a bucket list right? I mean, I do. Not one I’ve written down, but I have a few things in my head that I’d like to do before I get to the golden gates.
What about an anti bucket list? Here’s my top 10 things I won’t do before I die.
1: Go on a diet
I’m all for healthy eating and 5+ a day and all that. But I’m not the kind of person that will ever go on a diet. Ever. Mainly because, I love food. In particular, fatty food, fast food and food that is just not too good for you. A cheat day doesn’t interest me. You tell me I can’t have something and I will lust after it like my life depends on getting it.
2: Set off a fire alarm while cooking
I lived in an apartment while at university. One morning, we were evacuated because the person in the apartment above ours burnt their toast. It was before 7am. It triggered the fire alarm and the sprinklers. The whole floor was flooded. I don’t want to be that person.
3: Wear a bikini
I have never worn one, even when I was a teenager and had the body that I only dream of now. Now that my body has grown and pushed out two children, I will never wear one. End of story. If you’re one of those women that can embrace and love their bodies enough to throw a bikini on, that is awesome! More power to you! But not me. Nope.
4: Hold a Spider
No. Just, No.
5: Get arrested
I would think this is pretty obvious. Yeah, there’s a certain amount of ‘fun’ getting into trouble when it’s something minor, but I’m the kind of person who starts sweating bullets when I’m going through a checkpoint even when I haven’t done anything wrong. I wouldn’t survive in prison. I’m not cut out for it.
6: Have sex with a stranger
I have never done it, never want to do it, never will do it.
7: Go to a haunted house
I went to the Amazing Maze once. The night time one. Didn’t even get half way through and needed to get escorted out by the staff cause I was having a panic attack. Never again.
8: Cut my hair short
If you know me, you know my hair is like a living thing with a mind of it’s own. Cutting it short is like inviting the beast to play. Besides, I like my long hair. It’s taken a long time to get it this long and I’d like to keep it that way.
9: Get stranded
This terrifies me! The thought of being stuck somehwere. Anywhere. Alone in a city where I don’t know my way around or anyone there. On a desert island, up a mountain. I have zero survival skills. My only hope is that instict would take over.
10: Drugs, just to try it.
I am pretty proud to say that I haven’t touched drugs. Not even marajuana. Ask my friends and they’ll tell you I’m a boring grumpy bitch when they’ve been doing that stuff around me. I haven’t needed them to get me this far and now that I’m older and wiser, I won’t need or want them in my future.